Bryce Zabel's MOVIE SMACKDOWN!

No Reservations (2007) -vs- Big Night (1996)

 Championship Dining 

The Smackdown. I'm constantly lamenting the dearth of Romance in American Cinema, especially the lack of a truly sophisticated Romantic Comedy, the kind that MGM, utilizing the talents of Tracy, Hepburn, Grant and others, used to concoct with such apparent ease.   Today's pretenders offer cruelty as comedy, with the protagonists verbally and physically humiliating each other until the denouement, where, after two hours of sadism that makes the worst moments of my divorce appear gentle, we are supposed to believe they will treat each other like June and Ward, everafter.  2007's "No Reservations," thankfully eschews the popular formula, and offers instead a dramedy of romance in a gourmet restaurant setting where the celebration of food and drink is strongly linked to the celebration of Life, the process of grief, and yes, Romance.

Another film where Food, delicious, smell-it-through-the-screen food, earns it's own acting credit is 1976's "Big Night", a low-budget movie that is now a cult favorite, thanks to the inestimable talents of then little-knowns Stanley Tucci and Tony Shalhoub.  In this film, another dramedy, Romance takes a back seat to the study of familial love and loyalty, and the choices we face when pursuing our dreams. 

In one corner we have the luscious Catherine Zeta-Jones in an apron, fulfilling a pre-feminist fantasy, in the other, two of our finest character actors, crafting a personal labor of love.  Which will satiate your cinematic hunger, and which will you send back to the kitchen?

CLASSIC-SMACK: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007) -vs- The Long Riders (1980)

 Runnin' from the Law 

The Smackdown.  "Kill all the lawyers!"  That's one of the first lines from the classic 1939 version of "Jesse James," starring Tyrone Power and Henry Fonda as the title character, and his brother, Frank.   The saga of the real-life James Boys, their friends, the Youngers, Millers, and (hiss) the Fords has been a Hollywood staple for almost a century, and for every film, there has been a different interpretation of the legendary Missouri outlaw.  Jesse has been depicted in wildly differing films as outgoing, stoic, easygoing, stern, voluble, and taciturn.  "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" dares to suggest that the man that newspapers of the day compared to Robin Hood was no more than a vicious thug, who may have been going mad from the stresses of being hunted 24/7.  

In 1980, "The Long Riders" put forth the idea that Jesse James was at his core, a devoted family man, and his robbing of trains, coaches, and banks was just a bad habit, like smoking.  Since -- to today's average movie-goer -- the James gang may as well have ridden over two millennia ago, it doesn't really matter what he was actually like.  Historical accuracy is, at this stage, unimportant, because, ultimately, he was no more than a curiosity in an era where the local media didn't have enough news to write about.  The question for us is which film does its best to entertain, and advance the beloved genre of The Western.

Disturbia (2007) -vs- Rear Window (1954)

Window Watchers

The Smackdown. What were once called voyeurs, with links to aberrant behavior and psychiatric studies, are now just... Us. Since the visual media explosion that began halfway through the last century, we have become a nation, even a world, of voyeurs. We watch movies, live sporting events, TV, and in particular, Reality TV, and get off on it. This phenomenon of vicarious interest was first explored in the movies in 1954 (back when we still had lives of our own) in Alfred Hitchcock’s legendary “Rear Window," a warped character-study wrapped in a murder mystery. Now Dreamworks, in the person of director D.J. Caruso (“Taking Lives,” “Two For the Money”), has re-made the Master’s classic as “Disturbia," employing teens, or at least twenty-somethings playing teens, in place of the "Rear Window" cast of veteran adult stars.  

The Challenger. “Disturbia” (teen angst for Suburbia) stars Shia Leboeuf as a teen who has gotten into serious trouble following the death of his father. Confined to his house by court order, enforced by an ankle bracelet (a new 21st century twist), he longs for freedom and begins to watch the lives of those who are free around him, his neighbors. In between spying on the nubile new-girl-next-door, dealing with his ‘dude’ best friend, and going to war with the trio of brats who occupy the house on the other side of his, he notices strange goings-on at the neighbors across the street. Is the lone, hulking owner (David Morse), a compulsive gardener, a serial killer, or is our hero just bored and paranoid? Soon, the confined teen has both the new girl and his buddy assisting him as legs and eyes in a potentially mortal investigation.

Santa's 2007 Movie Smackdown!

The Smackdown. You certainly don't need to believe in Santa Claus to take inspiration from a good film that is either about the holiday or uses it as its backdrop. So here at Movie Smackdown! we've asked each of our critics to write a short blurb about a Christmas film that they have a special fondness for. Then we're going to submit those choices and others to the dreaded blog poll treatment. Which holiday film or films do you think are worth repeat viewing to get in the holiday spirit? Humbug, you say? Read on...

No, we don't think that you will likely choose "Fred Claus" as the Christmas film you'd want to recommend to your friends to see every year or even, maybe, this year. On the other hand, the breadth of Christmas films out there is wide and many have their passionate defenders and detractors. We think Movie Smackdown! is the perfect place to sort this out.

Here are the films that our critics have decided to advocate as the one Christmas movie they think you should either see for the first time or re-visit during the holidays. We have, as you'll see, a wide diversity of opinion.

By the way, if you're one of those people who simply want to vote and get it over with, you can go to the bottom of this post and you'll find the polls there.

Across the Universe (2007) -vs- Rent (2005)

Bursting into Song

The Smackdown. I got a lot of good advice from good friends on this one, before I ever saw Julie Taymor's homage to the Beatles and the Counterculture era, "Across the Universe."  Some thought it could be smacked down against "Tommy" or "Hair," for obvious reasons.  Or "I Am Sam," because both films share a Moptop soundtrack. (Remember when mags like "Teen" and "Tiger Beat" called the Beatles "The Four Moptops?")  And I was sorely tempted, as I love that story of a retarded man's struggle to retain custody of his young daughter, and count it as one of my all time favorite films.  Even Forrest Gump" got a mention, because "Universe" resembles it in the way it offers snapshot glimpses of the same period in American culture.  But shortly into the viewing, I found myself recalling the movie version of "Rent," because both films are ambitious yet flawed stories of a polyglot group of young people meeting during an explosive time in our history, easily becoming friends, and bursting into song at the slightest provocation.

  "That's two no foam, two soy, and nothing for the guy on the left."

The Challenger. See, here's the thing:  Although I grew up in this time period, I was never a Beatles fan.  Guys couldn't sing along with "The Four Eunuchs," (my term for them at the time) their voices were just too high.  So I went to see "Across the Universe" a little skeptical, but curious.  And the movie does not start off well.  I felt the first twenty minutes, mainly setup, was uninvolving; the paper-thin plot of Boy Meets Girl (American Heartlander Lucy, played by Evan Rachel Wood, meets Jim Sturgess as Brit Jude) was dull; and their breaking into song was stilted and uncomfortable.  But by the end of this uplifting movie I had been turned into a bona fide follower of The Fab Four.  Now I can wear pointy-toed ankle boots and hate Yoko with the best of 'em.  Because the film thankfully finds its footing, both musically and dramatically, and delivers a hearty dose of feelgood that had the audience cheering through the credits.  "Across the Universe" is not so much a paean to the Beatles as it is a celebration of Music, itself, and how it both reflects and influences our lives, in very positive ways.  "Universe" is at its best when staging musical numbers that are full of imaginative, elaborate sets and clever photography; at its worst when it tries to shove the cast into love relationships that don't always ring true.